Permanent
by KINGlena
Summary: Is a series of one or two shots about life and loss surrounding Kakashi and Sakura- these are not sweet stories; they involve the theme of loss, death, tragedy, and heartbreak. Each story is standalone from each other unless otherwise indicated. AU Rated M.
1. Chapter 1- Permanent

**Permanent**

 **Is a series of one or two shots about life and loss surrounding Kakashi and Sakura- these are not sweet stories; they involve the theme of loss, death, tragedy, and heartbreak. Each story is standalone from each other unless otherwise indicated. AU Rated M.**

 **BEWARE- these stories are NOT for everyone. They are rated M for the aforementioned themes and are in NO way fluff. If you are looking for a cute story these are NOT it.**

 **"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles"- Charlie Chaplin**

 **oOOo**

Permanent- Story One- When We Met

 **oOOo**

The war had been raging for a few days now and Kakashi could feel every last battle in his bones. He was exhausted; tired of the fighting and the death of many a comrade. It would all be worth it soon, the war would be over and Madara defeated within the day.

Kakashi had gotten the news that morning, Tsunade was sending in Naruto as a Hail Mary to finally bring the war to an end before Madara could execute his plan, the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Kakashi was proud of his former student, especially considering his other student deserted and joined Orochimaru and then the Akatski. _Sasuke_.

Wiping the sweat from his brow after he finished off his latest Zetsu clone, Kakashi pushed on; towards the center of the battle, towards Madara. He was to assist Naruto, to make sure no other Akatsuki member interrupted Naruto's faceoff with the once leader of the Uchihas.

The amount of Zetsus and fighting was preventing him from making it to Naruto. Yet he was the farthest in from the alliance so far. This still wasn't good enough for Kakashi; not for him and not for what he was trying to help to achieve.

The rest of the alliance was busy with the Zetsu army and Kakashi was still trying to push forward through the mayhem. Zetsus were coming from all directions, causing the alliance to spread out and dilute its forces. Kakashi set off in his current direction based on his own tracking skills and honing ability to seek out Naruto. The knucklehead had somehow dropped himself in the middle of the battle from Mount Myoboku and from what Kakashi could tell, very close to Madara. _Just where he needs to be._

One, two, three, four. Four Zetsus rushed him. One, two, three fell. The last one used the others as a shield. Finding an opening, the last Zetsu swiped a kunai at Kakashi's left. It was too late to dodge; the blood soaked his black long-sleeved shirt while one of his kunai's buried into the last Zetsu's throat. Four down too many left to go.

Kakashi's progress was slow. The Zetsus were a horde, an ant colony disturbed. They attacked to keep their monarchy safe in a wildly crazed, efficient way. _No wonder no one was making it through_. The earth trembled then but Kakashi paid it no mind, he didn't have the capacity to.

Through another mass of Zetsus, Kakashi finally had a moment to look up and see what was happening in the center. Naruto was there clad in his orange and black garb, one tail peaking from behind him. He was fighting fiercely, his opponent sporting the Uchiha crest. Yet it wasn't Madara , it was Sasuke.

Kakashi gritted his teeth, pulling the fabric of his mask into his mouth. Sasuke could make this all go wrong; Naruto would not truly fight him but would waste what precious time pleading for Sasuke to rethink his choices, to come home. Meanwhile Madara would advance with his plans. _Futile_. It was futile to try to convince Sasuke, this fight was futile, this war was futile. All Kakashi knew was that he needed to get there no matter how futile it was.

Their fight was intensifying, Kakashi could hear Naruto's yell of frustration and love towards Sasuke. Kakashi made a sweep of the battle field, Madara was not present. _Fuck_.

He pushed on, heading towards his two students. He was quickly overtaken by more Zetsus and not just four but 30. The fighting continued, Kakashi felt a large release of chakra, and then the Zetsus fell way. By the time he made it out the scene in front of him was vastly different.

There lay 4 bodies: Naruto, Sasuke, Madara, and a pink haired girl that looked passably familiar. Kakashi's mind began to piece the scene together as he raced towards the grouping. The progress was faster now that all the Zetsus were falling away, stripped of their chakra source once Madara fell.

Once he was close the puzzle clicked into place. Naruto had completed the futile act; he had convinced Sasuke to rejoin the Leaf and they must have defeated Madara together. But the girl; she was alliance by her headband that he spotted but Kakashi felt he knew her or of her.

Kakashi first checked the enemy to make sure no nasty surprises waited. He could see the gaping hole in Madara's chest, his heart missing. _Dead to never rise again, thank Kami_.

Now onto his two students, both seemed alive but in a drained state. Kakashi had seen them briefly in his fighting, and had caught the sight of blood from them both. He knew there should be more, their bodies should be decimated at the rate they were going at each other. Yet there was none, no blood or cuts, or bones relieved of flesh. He could see both of their chests rise and fall, bodies all put together except, Kakashi finally noted, both were missing an arm. Naruto was missing his right and Sasuke his left arm. Despite the missing appendage, no blood flowed from it, the arm ended in a closed over knob.

Kakashi was bewildered until he looked upon the fourth member, the pink haired girl, and it all clicked. She was the Hokage's apprentice, a praised healer that some said already surpassed her teacher- though never to Tsunade's face. The diamond on her forehead confirmed it. She was Haruno Sakura.

Kakashi looked her over to assess the damage. The girl had a large wound down the left side of her chest and ribs. It was leaking blood at an alarming rate, yet he detected a slight rise to her chest. Haruno Sakura was still alive but in bad shape, she would not last much longer.

Before Kakashi could think further he summoned Pakkun with orders to track down a medic and bring them back here, he stressed the urgency and importance to the pug before sending him off. Once Pakkun scampered off, Kakashi knelt down to assess the girl further.

The seal on her forehead seemed to have been released and from what little Kakashi knew of her and the seal, the girl should be healed. Yet she lay there broken and bleeding with probably only a few minutes left.

Kakashi went to pick her up, to carry her to the medics as he feared Pakkun would be to late.

"Don't." Came a harsh voice from the pink haired girl. The sound seemed to jolt Kakashi, it cut through the silence of death. He looked down at the girl, no longer focused on her bright hair and broken body but drawn to her sharp green eyes that had just opened.

"I have to or you will bleed out and die here."

"The moment you move me the bleed will speed up, killing me within seconds." She spoke; the statement was staggered with heavy breaths breaking apart the words. She soon fell to a coughing fit that brought blood from her mouth and pushed a rib further out of her body.

"Strike that, pick me up and let's sped this process up, the pain is killing me." She continued undeterred by the blood, cough, and gaping wound. A smile graced her lips then and Kakashi was completely taken aback. He had seen many comrades fall but nothing like this; the girl was cracking a joke. Her eyes lively even.

Kakashi could not help but return her smile and her dry humor, it seemed wrong not to and well it was up his alley.

"Well you looked like a girl who needs a hand, since yours seems to be broken." And it was; her whole left arm was bent all wrong.

She laughed at that, blood steadily streaming from her mouth, onto her chin, collecting slowly at the base of her neck. The bad jokes continued before as more blood collected and Kakashi couldn't help but to ask:

"Can you not heal the wound? You are a notable medical-nin. I am sure after the great job you did on my two knuckleheaded students, your wounds would be a breeze"

"When are a perforated left lung, broken rips, and torn heart valve, and not to mention the broken arm ever a breeze? Don't answer that. No, I have spent everything I had on those two. Though regenerating both their arms was still a little too much. Probably have to go without them."

"Well I am sure they won't worry about the arms knowing it helped in taking out Madara." Kakashi spoke absently, looking around for the medical-nin. "I sent my summons to get a medical-nin, and I am sure they will be here soon to patch you up". Kakashi looked at her wound again, knowing his words were probably a lie.

"Those bone heads?" The laugh brought more blood but she pushed past it to finish her story.

"No way. I got to them half dead and began patching them up when Madara came. HE was about to forcibly extract Kurama. Naruto and Sasuke were slightly coherent enough to be a distraction for Madara before I got a good hit in."

The statement hung for a second before Kakashi truly understood, Haruno Sakura had killed Madara.

"Of course I took a little damage on my left side for all my effort, though he was legendary in my defense." She continued, her brilliant green eyes grabbing Kakashi's attention.

"The fight was short but by the end Naruto and Sasuke had undone all my previous work and had gapping wounds to boot. I would kick their asses for it if only I could move…." She sighed then before continuing:

"I patched them up but they were both.." She stopped then her vibrant eyes getting glassy for the first time. Kakashi knew he was missing something then, they were more wounded yes but the look she wore said something more

"Dead?"

Her voice was small, "Something like that. I… I… I had to use the seal, but to bring them both back from death's door, it was too much. I am completely drained and so is my seal."

Kakashi could not look away from this blood covered woman, she had given everything to her comrades and at her own expense. She must have known, she was no novice, she would know there wouldn't be enough for her to heal.

"Why?" the question slipped before he could stop it.

"Because they are my friends, from the academy days; before we all went on our separate paths. But it is more than that, they are the future. I know Naruto will make this world great, that he will be the best Hokage. He will motivate people, he will connect them, and he will love them. But he can never do that if he doesn't live and especially if he felt he couldn't even save his own brother; his family."

Kakashi wanted to give this girl something, anything for her sacrifice but all he could do was say: "Thank you".

The smile that broke across her face was breathtaking, "I would do it again and again only to make sure those two idiots make it to see tomorrow".

"You will too. The medical-nin will be here any second. " Kakashi spoke the words fervently wanting to believe in them with every inch of his being. He had to save her, she was the future too.

That brought a laugh from her, followed by more blood and wheezing. What little façade she had scraped together for the few minutes she had talked to Kakashi was slipping. He knew then that even as she waited for death to claim her she wanted to give him hope, to hide the real urgency of the situation. It broke him, her bright eyes slowly dimming and her voice once strong struggling.

It broke a broken man further than he knew existed. Kakashi needed Pakkun to get here with the Medical-nin, he hadn't wanted anything so bad since the 4th; Rin, and Orbito had perished in front of him. He wanted to give this vibrant woman more time, to trade whatever years he had left for her to live, like he still wanted to do for his old team. Yet Kakashi was no Shinigami, despite his ability to seemingly elude death.

In spite of his decreasing hope, Sakura seemed to be fighting. She spoke breaking the small silence, "I bet it is a huge unsightly mole."

"What?"

"Why you wear the mask."

"It isn't that unsightly…"

"AHAH! I am going to tell Naruto when he gets up and claim that stupid pool that is going around the village."

"I believe you actually have to see my face to claim the 5,000 ryo prize."

"You are no fun. Why not show a dying girl just for kicks?"

"The medic will be here any moment and if they are not, I suspect you will be too stubborn to die without catching a glimpse." He spoke with much bravado as he looked behind him praying for Pakkun and the medical-nin to hurry.

There was no short witty response to his tease. Kakashi turned back from his fruitless search to look at her, his sole black eye boring into her two green ones. They were piercing and full of acceptance and he knew. Despite the teasing and his promise of a medic, there wasn't any time left.

If he was conscience then and not so numb, he still would not have stopped his hand from reaching towards his mask. He would show this wonderful kind witty woman his face. He would let Haruno Sakura see everything he hides; he would bare all before she goes.

Closing his eye and taking a deep breath he latched his fingers to his mask. Before he could pull down the piece of cloth, his hand was stopped by a small warm calloused one. Sakura had used what little strength she had left to bring her right hand to his. "Why didn't I meet you earlier?"

Kakashi eyes sprung open meeting the face of a smiling Sakura. Her eyes were slowly closing, her hand fell from his. In the background he could hear Pakkun yell for him, it all seemed so far away. He could not break eye contact with the smile still on her face, even as it became blurrier and blurrier.

"I promise to show you next time."

Those few minutes with Sakura were an eternity to him, yet they would never be enough.

 **oOOo**

 **The quote is to highlight hope and a continuation of the story even if there seems to be a definite end.**

 **Again I warned this story and the ones to follow are not sweet or in the realm of happily-ever-after. If this is not your cup of tea no need to R &R. Simply return to browsing other stories that suit your fancy. **


	2. Chapter 2- Memento

**Memento**

 **o00o**

I was on the train next to this woman, probably around 60 or 70, white hair with a pink tint and unmistakable vivid green eyes. We had a long train ride from Suna to the Leaf so I struck up a conversation. Old people usually have amazing stories, especially the old ninja that fought before the great time of peace and advancement in technology,

She told me she was in fact a ninja back in the day but was long retired from active duty though she sometimes still helps around the hospital. She told me with a grin, that she was a recently retired head of medicine. She had some amazing stories of missions she had been on, life in a ninja village, and other antidotes of the past. I spent the first two hours berating her with question, I like to think I would a top notch ninja if it wasn't a dying profession.

We finally get to topics of the present, she told me she was visiting her daughter in Suna, who had married the 5th Kazekage's daughter and was the current head of medicine in Suna. She had three kids, all active within the Ninja profession but she was sad to see her only daughter leave the Leaf.

We spoke about the Leaf and Suna for a bit before I finally commented on something that eating away at me all day:

"That's quite a racy book to have"

She looked down, as if forgetting its existence. "It is the newest installment, I bought it at the shop in the train station earlier today for my husband before I remembered he was dead."

I couldn't bring myself to respond or I didn't have one. What can a person say to console a loss to a stranger? I began to say what everyone says, what this woman has probably heard a thousand times: "My condolences..".

She smiled and thanked me for my empathy, even if it was an empty phrase. We sat quietly for a moment, the woman looking down at the brightly colored book. She clutched it in one hand while the other traced the noisy cover. Her reprieve was broken by a passing thought I began to voice: "Why did you…"

She turned to me before I could finish: "I kept it because it reminded me of him—his insatiable and incredulous reading habitat— he would have loved the new book."

I looked down again at the noisy cover of the highly perverted series, it read _Icha Icha Passion._

Whatever blush I was wearing from bringing up the book faded as I looked back to this woman, who so obviously missed her husband. Even, from what I assumed was a somewhat annoying reading habitat of her late husband, to see her look so fondly at it made my heart squeeze. I could only hope to one day love a person like she had.


	3. Chapter 3- Upon Arrival

**Upon Arrival**

 **o00o**

Kakashi was almost back to Konohagakure.

The mission had taken three months and a lot of sweat and blood, but the small rouge group had finally been taken out.

He was rushing home to see her, to see his Sakura.

 _She must be very round now, or maybe the baby has been born._ He thought

The no communication during the time he and his anbu team infiltrated kept him guessing.

 _Her eyes, I want the baby to have her eyes. And her smile_

He was giddy with need to see her, he hadn't dared let himself go down this train of thought while out on the mission but now on his way home he let his thoughts get flooded with them.

He was three hours out when he was ambushed. He had saved his younger anbu member, the cost was his own life.

By the time the patrol got to Kakashi's team, the one young member was the only one left alive, the rest of his team and their opponents lay dead. The young member, Hoshi, debriefed to the on-the-scene anbu when his story was interrupted by the arrival of a pink haired lady carrying a baby.

Haruno Sakura

He may have never spoken a word to her in his life but he knew her right away, not from her reputation as a medical-nin master but in a more personal manner. He knew her from the picture Hatake- tiacho pulled out every night before sleep; he knew her from the few moments Kakashi spoke about something other than the mission.

The baby must be his, he thought.

Hoshi looked upon the family; Sakura's face streaming with tear clutching her child and her husband's cold hand.


	4. Chapter 4- To be with you

**To be with you**

 **o00o**

My mother left for a mission two months ago. It was by no means an easy mission, my father, my brother, and myself were told the risks before she left. But she had promised to take care and to come back.

She had returned from the mission 3 days ago barely alive. She had put everything forth to healing her team, her seal had been released, her chakra drained. Yet despite her highly regarded healing prowess, she was not waking up. Her listless, pale, frail body was attached to every machine possible.

I had spent the day with my brother and father at the hospital; we had all spent every moment there since her return 3 days past. Tsunade had finally told us off, told us to go home. We were all exhausted; none of us had slept in days. My brother had not gone to the academy since the news and I hadn't taken any missions. My father, he just sat quietly by her, his eye never leaving her face.

If he was not my father, if I hadn't spent my childhood memorizing his signs of emotion or trying to read his thoughts, searching for any signs of disproval or distaste I would not have seen it. He was pleading, begging for her to come back to him, to us. I know from the whispered conversations between mom and dad and those of his friends that dad was on a downward spiral before mom stepped in. That they both had been worried about people's reactions about their relationship; that it had been tough in the begging with the Leaf general populous sideways glances and whispers. But their friends had always been supportive.

Mom once told me she had never seen dad so happy until the day he held me. I think the moment she opens her eyes will top it for him, I know it, I want it. Tsunade always pulls dad away to talk in fast hush tones, but I know my mom is a great healer and so is Tsunade. She will pull through.

We all dragged ourselves home after being ejected from mom's hospital room. "The sick need their rest and by the look of it so do you three" Tsunade had chastised until we finally did leave.

We arrived home; my dad and my brother went to their rooms. I couldn't make it; I ended up on the couch, the exhaustion finally consuming me. There was a knock at the door, maybe several. Why was no one getting it? I began to stir, memorizing coming back, I was on the couch, my mom was in the hospital.

By the time I reached the door, it must have been several minutes. The messenger was trying to look annoyed but failed. I knew looking into the young chunin's face what message he was about to give, I think I always knew.

I didn't say a word, I just went to get my dad. He headed for the door while I poked my brother awake. By the time we ended up on the couch it the messenger was gone. My father turned from the door.

"Your mother is gone"

We left for the hospital soon after, in a daze numb to it all. I had yet to cry though I could feel the want and need to. I couldn't yet, it wasn't real.

We arrived at the hospital and were taken to her room, Tsunade was there, clipboard in hand, a stern face but a wetness around her eyes not fully whipped away – it gave away her own emotions.

My younger brother stayed as my father and I went behind the curtain to look at my mother. Tsunade pulled the sheet from my mother's face. I was pulled away from everything, I was nothing, and my mother was dead. Her pink locks splayed around her like a wreath of sakura flowers.

I was broken from my trance by the most heart wrenching sound made by my father. He let out a soul-numbing scream that transformed into crying. I looked over to see his heart break and mine broke as well.

That was five years ago, and to this day my father's scream is the worst sound I have ever heard. He has never cried in my 15 years of life before her death and never since then.

At night, when I come home late from a mission, I can sometimes hear him, "I will always love you. Wait for me Sakura"

My father died yesterday. I look at his gravestone now that everyone left.

 _Hatake Kakashi_

 _Loving father and husband_

 _Devoted Ninja_

All I can think is he must be with her now.


End file.
